And, more notes on our abusive relationship with Airbnb
Airbnb has been around since 2008, but my first stay was a little later, back in 2016, in Sonoma, California. It was a big Victorian house that had been converted into a B&B that rented out a few rooms for traveling wine guys like myself. I was there for one night. I had a pizza, drank some wine, and went to bed. It was perfect. Since then, I have stayed in more than 25 different Airbnbs for a total of over 350 nights. Yeah, I have a bit of a nomad streak in me and, in that time, I have learned a thing or two. In the past 5 years, I have stayed in an Airbnb property 10 times more frequently than in a hotel.
Back in the day, Airbnb was like this new relationship that seemed sexy and adventurous. It was new, different, modern and unique, allowed for experimentation and was just enough of whatever it was to make me leave my long-term relationship with hotels. Now, with the benefit of experience, I fear I’m in an unhealthy relationship with airbnb that I can’t quite describe. It’s got some elements of codependency with a serious hint of mental abuse. It’s freaky and I hate it, but I can’t quit, and I would never tell anyone truly how I feel. That would make AirBnB mad if it ever got out and could jeopardize all that I have worked for.
For some reason, we travelers seem to develop actual relationships with our lodging and hosts when choosing Airbnb, not allowing for honesty or even well adjusted direct communication. That, my friends, is an unhealthy relationship.
Read more of our generally useless travel journal
See, no matter the situation, most people feel an obligation to review an Airbnb rental. It’s like we owe it to the host to say something nice. I never had to do that in my past relationships. I’m not some Yelp freak or Tripadvisor junkie seeking validation by forcing my opinion on unsuspecting web surfers. I’ve never felt the need to review a Marriott, Hyatt, or Howard Johnson. Even if I did rate the hotel, I generally rate the actual room…not the host, front desk clerk, chain, or the experience outside of the place. Additionally, as far as I know, hotels don’t rate me back or research me when I want to book a night or two.
For some reason, we connect with an Airbnb host. We feel like they are real people, and almost friends…individuals rather than nameless faceless hotel corporations. Accordingly, we don’t want to bother or upset a normal person, let alone a friend with needs or conflict.
Instead of actual, honest reviews of accommodations, Airbnb renters tend to say how much fun they had, sticking to vague generalizations about the place rather than mentioning little details like there were ants in the kitchen. I don’t care how much fun the beach was. Tell me about the room. But, for most, they can’t…or won’t. Studies have shown it is due to the aversion to bother a “real person” or desire to get a positive review in return.
This has created a rating and review system that is neither honest nor a trustworthy tool for use when evaluating potential lodging options.
To make matters worse – or at least different – there are hosts that will check out the reviews of guests made by other hosts before booking them. My trip planning has been bogged down more than once by a potential host’s vetting process that took too long. Due to that, there is a feeling that I need to have a spotless record as a guest to be able to have the privilege of having somebody take my money in return for a room for the night.
Marriott doesn’t give a shit about my history, they just want our money.
Next, we seem to give our hosts a pass all the time on things that would never fly in a hotel. One recent example was in a place that had an air conditioner and heater controlled by the building instead of the individual unit. That is not something that we factored going into it. Because it’s controlled by the building, causing really hot days and really, really hot nights during an unusually warm spring before the building air conditioning was activated, we don’t blame the host. Just another example of the things that we would not forgive from my hotel.
Other issues we have faced over the years include a host wanting to do our laundry in lieu of other laundry services, a couple places without potable water to drink (one even ran out of water completely, three times), a series of broken appliances, bad beds, noisy neighbors, rancid sewage smells coming from the plumbing, and at least one place that had structural problems. Keep in mind, none of these issues were revealed by the hosts or in any of the previous reviews by recent guests. All were just glowing.
Is Airbnb becoming Match or eHarmony or Bumble, where guests realize that what they just swiped right on used some kind of weird filter and lied through their teeth on their profile. The newly duped don’t wanna say anything negative because they don’t wanna hurt any feelings, want to get embarrassed, or have their own relationship tarnished via the negative return review. They’d rather just move on.
What’s the deal? We accept little things that go wrong in an Airbnb that we would never accept from other businesses. It’s the personal connection, the internalization of the host relationship?
Airbnb used to be considered a bargain, further complicating the process. We’ll put up with a lot if we think we’re getting a bargain. But now, the cost of these places to stay often are not much less than a Residence Inn.
This spring, we paid 2850 (102 per night for 4 weeks) in a fabulous little place in Denver. We could have spent the same amount for any number of metro area hotels where we could have had daily cleaning service, proper climate control, free breakfast, tons of toilet paper, security, little bottles of shampoo, a daily USA Today, and randomly and unfortunately, not a fire in the building or dripping coming from the bathroom ceiling keeping you awake at night…not that you can sleep when the air hasn’t been turned on yet and it’s 90 degrees in the place.
So the question that begs being asked is: Was the Airbnb really worth it? Sure, they say it’s more of a home feeling…you can cook, yada yada. But so many people have different sensibilities regarding what is desired or required and many of them don’t actually have the basics needed to feel at home or to do the simplest tasks.
Oh, and if we had chosen a hotel – Marriott so as to keep with our practice of amassing travel points – we would have gotten 28 days worth of stays on our points program which would have given us status upgrades and a free night credit or two. I understand this isn’t always possible to compare, but we should when we can at the very least.
Tangent:
Oh, and don’t get me started on kitchens. Kitchens are a constant source of disappointment. When you live in these things – not just for a few days, but for a month or more – you can’t go out all the time. I cook, so kitchens are critical. Consistent cooking has to be a part of a healthy plan. Sadly, very rarely do Airbnb rentals have what it takes to be considered a well-stocked kitchen, even when they claim to be. Pots and pans are cheap, disgusting shit that have been abused, knives aren’t sharp, not that there is a cutting board to use, there are no scissors or spatulas, broken or missing appliances, and seriously, you at least need salt and pepper.
Sorry. Back to the main point…
Regardless of all the above, we have decided that the best way to solve some, if not all the ills of this new lodging scenario, we need to rework the reviews to go back to reviewing the place, not the host. We need to be able to be honest. We need to stop being scared of the return rating and stop worrying about being a bother to people who are taking our money in return for services. Only by engaging in honest reviewing can prospective renters compare apples to apples with their other lodging options.
Now, I’ve had some experience with creating new rating systems. The problem is, ratings are subjective. They are one person’s judgement of quality and don’t take into account what really matters – how often you travel, what you can afford, what you require, and your basic sensibilities. Instead of rating and reviewing, we need a new ethos. A new methodology.
We can’t just review and rate. We need to re-classify.
There are too many factors to consider when shopping for Airbnb lodging, and somewhat ambiguous rating systems just adds to the complexity. You’re going to tell me that a 5-Star fully stocked apartment in Downtown Paris for $900 a night is the same as a 5-Star semi-private room on the outskirts of Cheyanne, Wyoming you can get for $35? Well, the rating says it is as far as quality of experience.
To slice through the 💩, I’ve decided to create my own Airbnb classification system that gives you all the info you need to truly make decisions rather than someone rating a room based on how good they think it is. (I even made it emoji based to keep it simple for the kids 😘.) Add these classifications to a simple list of amenities and you will have a better understanding of what you’re in for.
The other cool thing about my new system is that we don’t really talk about money, but still talk about money. It’s a sliding scale – a bell-curve, if you will. Yeah, I mention limits to your affordability, but everyone is different. A Getaway, which has a perceived value, can be more or less expensive based on your particular financial situation. The scale adjusts accordingly. See. A system for the rest of ‘em. Democracy in action.
And now…
The New And Improved Airbnb Classification System – ACS
First of all, we need to stop this whole rating of the hosts. SuperHost? That’s crap and where Airbnb needs the most work. This host rating shit has to go, simply because it confuses the overall experience and rating. You’ve got to be able to rate the host on a simple Pass/Fail…either they met your needs or they didn’t. That said, everyone’s needs are different, so I would suggest Airbnb come up with a simple list of things that are essential for a host to fulfill, nothing more, nothing less:
- Communication within certain time parameters
- Facilitation of the check in and check out process according to rating system below
- Crisis management and facilitation of any services that are advertised or offered as part of the rental
Keep it simple. Did the host perform the duties of a host? Pass/Fail – It was good enough for me in college, it’s good enough for Airbnb hosts. I don’t give a fuck about local tips or status checks because everyone has different needs and wants. Hell, some people (myself included) don’t even want to meet the host and see on whose bed you’re actually sleeping.
The whole Super Host thing, regardless of how it is presented, does come with an inherent expectation of the actual space, and it shouldn’t. So, the host rating has to be separate. We can’t deal with any more situations like: “We had such a great time at Tony’s place. He was so communicative and gave us the best advice on where to go for a good burger down the street.” I mean, yeah, I had to sleep on bricks, there’s an all night rave in the attic, the place had roaches and mold, and now I have black lung disease, but he was such a great host. FIVE STARS!!
Now, to be fair, and keeping with existing practice, the hosts can still rate the guests, but on a simple pass/fail system as well. Did they communicate well? Was check in and check out smooth? And, did they follow the rules of the house. Simple.
Next, only rate places to which you would return. Wouldn’t go back? Don’t review. I thought long and hard about this one, wondering if it would be counterproductive and be a roadblock to a better review process. But, since I can’t force people to review things, I had to come up with a way to bring balance. To compensate for the skewing of reviews based on this conundrum, Airbnb needs to show you how many times this place has been booked in addition to the total number of reviews. Then you can judge for yourself. If it wasn’t good enough to review, maybe it’s not good enough for you (hey, that rhymes). Seeing a place that has been booked 10 times and has 9 ratings might be better than seeing a place that has been booked 1000 times but only has 3 reviews.
As for the actual ratings, let’s go with a system of 1-5 toilet paper rolls – 🧻 through 🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻. Seems appropriate. And, remember, this is a new way of thinking. We’re “re-classifying” rather than rating to balance individual sensibilities. We’re establishing what kind of place it is and its effectiveness at being that type of place.
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🧻 – The Crash Pad – This is the simple one – just a bed to crash on. This is the Airbnb equivalent of the interstate motel. This is the place you don’t even think about; the cheap place you hit late at night and leave first thing. All you really need is a lockable door, clean space, and hot water in the shower. Self check in and drop the keys when leaving are a must. You don’t talk about this place, you don’t care about this place, and they don’t care about you, but you will happily sleep there when needed. As long as there aren’t questionable smells and stains in questionable areas and you feel safe, this place works.
🧻🧻 – The Executive – This is the place that exists primarily as a tool to assist you in your plans. It’s priced at or below your budget and is in a good location so your plans are close, making any shortcoming easily overlooked by convenience and economy. Perfect for the quick in and when plans are packed. You’re not staying long and you don’t really need anything. As with the 🧻 property, ease of entry and exit are key, but this one has to be ready to comfortably handle at least a few minutes of you-time throughout the day. This place probably has a few of your basic luxuries to limit the need to go out, but there are places close if you prefer. There is a good level of basic furniture and fixtures to suit your needs, like a nice bathroom, good shower, a good place to keep your bags, probably has a little dedicated place for a laptop or whatever and is comfortable for a quick lounge session after a long day.
🧻🧻🧻 – The Getaway – This is your go-to standard for a comfortable stay. You’ve been here before and will be here again. You’re probably staying here a week or so, or it’s a shorter stay but you either need to or you want to spend more time in the place. This is your entry level place that allows for a pseudo-living situation. It’s comfortable, has at least a couple different places to hang out and chill, has services that are excellent without having to request them, like screaming fast wi-fi, and has a well stocked kitchen, which is needed as this will be your entry level property when you want to hit a store and cook basic meals if needed or desired. You can stay here for longer periods, up to a month, but it’ll get old fast and you’ll be missing some of the little things that make a house a home.
🧻🧻🧻🧻 – AFH (That’s Away From Home) – This is probably the best place you’ll stay in for most trips. It’s expensive, but stylish, clean, and has everything you need in order for you to pretty easily overlook the elevated price. This place has a bit of luxury, is well appointed, and all the little things that make you feel right at home instantly, but is probably nicer than your place. This is the level you look for when you want to feel great or you’re spending a month or more somewhere and need a home and are able to secure a long-term discount. You could see yourself living in this place (or wishing you could afford to live in this place). It has everything you need (on site or provided via service) to live the way you want for the long term, except maybe that weird item that only you use…in that case you probably brought it with you. This is the place you talk about, are proud to suggest to your friends, and will return if you ever find a time that isn’t booked. This place is home away from home.
🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻 – The Lux – This is your movie star lodging, a space that you couldn’t or shouldn’t be able to afford. This is the place where dreams are made and memories are meant to be made. This is the place to propose, spend that 20th anniversary, or escape the paparazzi. Chances are, you’re only here because someone else is paying, you won a raffle, charity bid, sales competition, or you’re experiencing some existential crisis that needs some serious pampering. Amenities and services are first class, with nothing to complain about, but you really don’t need them because all your needs are handled. Yeah, it has a really nice kitchen, but all your meals are probably being made for you or are easily accessible from the fabulous staff or nearby restaurants. Unlike the 🧻🧻🧻🧻, you don’t live here. The location is perfect and you are here to vacation. This is the perfect place to escape life.
There. A rating system for the rest of us. I will await the calls from Airbnb to request my consultation services.
